I noticed this weekend when our friends were staying with us that all I think about, and all I want to talk about is Noah. Our visitors from this weeked don't have kids yet, although the wife is a nanny so she knows what I am talking about, and doesn't mind (I hope) my incessant babbling about babies. However, I found it a little sad, and mildly depressing that I had to keep snapping myself back to "reality" and to talking about and focusing on things other than my pregnancy. I kept thinking 'don't be that girl, Layne' no one cares that the baby is wiggling right now, and they don't care that the dog acts funny around you- just chill out and talk about something else- anything else. I'm finding it hard to remember the things that were fun and exciting to me before this happened, I would have to put in a large effort to come up with something to discuss that would be relevant to my life other than this- what did I like 5 months ago?? Then last night after talking to a lady I love, who is a mother, I realized maybe I'm being too hard on myself. My whole life is changing, and it is difficult to ignore something being inside of your body and probably really normal that it is all I can think about. At this point, I think it's a good thing that I'm being proactive and acknowledging the all-consuming effect having a baby is taking on my life, she isn't even actually here yet, so at least I'm getting a jump start for when she is here. Then, Lord help us, because no one will want to talk to me, I'm sure. All I'll want to do is talk about her little hands and feet, and smiles, and I can't even think about it now because I'll sit here all day daydreaming.
I'm a month or two away from the time for baby showers and gifts yet, but we're over half-way through the pregnancy so we registered for little Noah at a couple of places. Right now I keep my eyes open to new products and developments of things that our family and daughter will need, but there is SO much stuff out there. I recently posed a question on facebook to mommies about their opinions on swaddlers and sleep sacs. I'm ridiculously clautrophobic so it is hard for me to imagine that it would be safe or enjoyable for a baby to be bundled up so tightly. However, I spent several years nannying and I've seen from experience how being swaddled can calm a fussy infant. I guess my qualms come from the sleep sacs, and putting an older than newborn baby in a crib unable to move its arms and legs to help itself if it get smothered by a blanket or mattress. My inquiry got a lot of response, and some really good answers. I was referred to a site and program called Happiest Baby on the Block for one, which is founded by a doctor who advocates swaddling, but more importantly I noticed that every mom's opinion varried based on what they found was right for their child. What I've realized is that I can plan and debate on products and programs, and game plans all I want, but when Noah gets here she will let me know if something isn't working or if something is. It is just so difficult to wait and not over-think it. I want more than anything to be able to sit back and relax and enjoy this pregnancy and all that it entails, I guess my brain and personality is just not going to let it go down that way ;)
I've been super snooty in the past at over protective and overly-anything moms. I would smirk when a mother or grandmother would have a cow because a baby didn't have socks on its feet or 3 blankets wrapped around it. I think it's funny when parents get squirmish or even upset when a dog licks a child, and I've felt like telling people to take chill pill when their baby or toddler was exploring new things, gadgets, and toys that they kept rippng out of their hands making the baby want it even more. Now, I'm freaking out over sleep sacs, wondering if I'm going to turn into the mother that I've silently judged for so long. This having a kid thing is exhausting and I'm not even to the hard part yet. Sheesh. Mother's day is this coming weekend and I have to say I know now more than ever how much of a shout out moms everywhere deserve. If not this one day a year- year round!! I love my momma and grandmother, and all that they have done for me, and one love to the new mommies and veteran mommies out in the world doing their best to be what their children need! I have tremendous respect and admiration for all of you! Love, Layne