Monday, May 2, 2011

Trying not to over-think and over-prepare is harder than it seems...

    I noticed this weekend when our friends were staying with us that all I think about, and all I want to talk about is Noah. Our visitors from this weeked don't have kids yet, although the wife is a nanny so she knows what I am talking about, and doesn't mind (I hope) my incessant babbling about babies. However, I found it a little sad, and mildly depressing that I had to keep snapping myself back to "reality" and to talking about and focusing on things other than my pregnancy. I kept thinking 'don't be that girl, Layne' no one cares that the baby is wiggling right now, and they don't care that the dog acts funny around you- just chill out and talk about something else- anything else. I'm finding it hard to remember the things that were fun and exciting to me before this happened, I would have to put in a large effort to come up with something to discuss that would be relevant to my life other than this- what did I like 5 months ago?? Then last night after talking to a lady I love, who is a mother, I realized maybe I'm being too hard on myself. My whole life is changing, and it is difficult to ignore something being inside of your body and probably really normal that it is all I can think about. At this point, I think it's a good thing that I'm being proactive and acknowledging the all-consuming effect having a baby is taking on my life, she isn't even actually here yet, so at least I'm getting a jump start for when she is here. Then, Lord help us, because no one will want to talk to me, I'm sure. All I'll want to do is talk about her little hands and feet, and smiles, and I can't even think about it now because I'll sit here all day daydreaming.

    I'm a month or two away from the time for baby showers and gifts yet, but we're over half-way  through the pregnancy so we registered for little Noah at a couple of places. Right now I keep my eyes open to new products and developments of things that our family and daughter will need, but there is SO much stuff out there. I recently posed a question on facebook to mommies about their opinions on swaddlers and sleep sacs. I'm ridiculously clautrophobic so it is hard for me to imagine that it would be safe or enjoyable for a baby to be bundled up so tightly. However, I spent several years nannying and I've seen from experience how being swaddled can calm a fussy infant. I guess my qualms come from the sleep sacs, and putting an older than newborn baby in a crib unable to move its arms and legs to help itself if it get smothered by a blanket or mattress. My inquiry got a lot of response, and some really good answers. I was referred to a site and program called Happiest Baby on the Block for one, which is founded by a doctor who advocates swaddling, but more importantly I noticed that every mom's opinion varried based on what they found was right for their child. What I've realized is that I can plan and debate on products and programs, and game plans all I want, but when Noah gets here she will let me know if something isn't working or if something is. It is just so difficult to wait and not over-think it. I want more than anything to be able to sit back and relax and enjoy this pregnancy and all that it entails, I guess my brain and personality is just not going to let it go down that way ;)

    I've been super snooty in the past at over protective and overly-anything moms. I would smirk when a mother or grandmother would have a cow because a baby didn't have socks on its feet or 3 blankets wrapped around it. I think it's funny when parents get squirmish or even upset when a dog licks a child, and I've felt like telling people to take chill pill when their baby or toddler was exploring new things, gadgets, and toys that they kept rippng out of their hands making the baby want it even more. Now, I'm freaking out over sleep sacs, wondering if I'm going to turn into the mother that I've silently judged for so long. This having a kid thing is exhausting and I'm not even to the hard part yet. Sheesh. Mother's day is this coming weekend and I have to say I know now more than ever how much of a shout out moms everywhere deserve. If not this one day a year- year round!! I love my momma and grandmother, and all that they have done for me, and one love to the new mommies and veteran mommies out in the world doing their best to be what their children need! I have tremendous respect and admiration for all of you! Love, Layne

5 comments:

Joy Page Manuel said...

I can relate cos I can't stop thinking about Noah either...that is, my Noah :-) He's 4 now and I still can't stop thinking about him, lol! This is a time far more exciting than you can imagine so simmer in it. You're right in thinking that your life is changing in ways you never expected and all you can do is go with it and find as many pockets of happiness as you could. Motherhood/parenthood will define you but as long as you are aware that love also means love for 'YOU' then you will be fine...even when you can't stop talking about your baby. :-)

Dee Sanders said...

My precious girl...anyone who doesn't want to hear about Noah is just crazy! they all do! hahahah! at least that is what I am telling myself about all my friends who are listening to me babble on!! YOU my daughter...will be the best mother ever!! Your instincts are right on ....and you will know in your heart...as I did with you...exactly what Noah needs!! rest easy angel...our precious Noah is going to love us all...with her dark brown eyes..and chubby little legs....can't you just see her???? I adore you!!

Vicky said...

Congrats on your baby! I'm a mommy of two, and I noticed all my friends have kids, and the ones that don't we aren't as close anymore. It's not that we don't like each other or aren't friends, but it's easier being friends with others who have kids because then they understand the things you are going through or will go through :) And Dee Sanders your comment is so sweet!

I'm a new follower, following you back :)

Vicky with Mommy Loves Giveaways

Emily and Cory said...

I love reading about all the cute baby things you discover! By the time we have our own kids, I'm going to know all the secrets without having to do all the work. :)
And it's a huge thing happening in your life; you're entitled to talk about it a lot.

Bridget said...

I was a nanny for 10 years before I had children of my own. So, for a first-time mom, I was pretty laid back. I now have 4 (3mo,2yr,4yr,6yr) and each one of them has been drastically different from the others. What worked for my 6yo didn't work for my 2yo. What worked with the 2yo isn't working with the 3mo. And nothing really 'worked' with the 4yo. She's quite wonderful now, but those first 10 months were rough. I don't say that to scare you, but here's the thing: you're right about just finding your own way and doing what works for you and your baby. But...and here's the kicker...forget about all the stuff you read and all the stuff people tell you. Go with your gut. Pray a lot. And hold them a lot more than you think you should. :-)