A Super Pregnant post...

Right now I'm sitting with my feet propped up on the coffee table, on top of a couch pillow, with my digital camera balanced on my tummy. We've got the College World Series on tv, hoping to watch South Carolina shut it down tonight and bring home a second Nat'l Title. The hubby has just declared to everyone on the den (me and the dog) his desire to be on a soccer team-not likely since he works 9 hour days and we live in a small town which I doubt has a soccer team-regardless he's dribbling a soccer ball back and forth across our living room and kitchen as I write this post.

I felt a strong urge tonight to post about something that I've always been passionate about but have become even more so over the past 8 months... food! I have this awesome, easy, tried and true recipe for cold crab pasta salad. I have to share it with you. It's especially amazing in the summer and totally healthy. A heaping bowl of it is only around 300 calories! So here it is:

Layne's Cold Crab Salad

1 box of wheat noodles- I like penne

approximately 1/2 cup lite mayo

approximately 1/4 cup fat free italian dressing

cucumber

celery

package of imitation crab meat

salt and pepper

Boil noodles and drain.

With a fork shred the crab meat

Dice the cucumber and celery- i normally use a whole cuke, and 1 or 2 stalks of celery but it's up to you

Add the mayo and dressing to the pasta, veggies and crab meat.

With a big spoon mix and mix and mix until everything is evenly distributed.

(note: You can alter the mayo/dressing amounts based on how "wet" you want the pasta, but obviously the more you use the higher the cals...)

Salt and Pepper to taste.

Awww yeah! So good, and it keeps all week. I pack it in my lunch for work every day when I make it! So delish- sorry about the photo quality. A professional camera is going on my xmas list for the hubs to get me- what better time than when we have a gorgeous baby crawling around...

I have been all about some food lately, I can't fight it any longer, the only thing I can do at this point is just continue to exercise. This chick in my stomach is growing like a weed, she needs the food I'm craving- I figure as long as I don't have too many crappy junk food days and I keep working out, then I can live with myself. Speaking of Noah- I had a blast at my first baby shower! It was surreal to be receiving baby things...I looked at a bottle drying rack and it blew my mind that in a just a few more weeks stuff like that would be on my kitchen counter. So weird.

I have another doctors appointment next Wednesday and I am convinced that my doctor is going to tell me Noah is huge and that I'm going to deliver early, because there is no way this child is not already 6 or 7 pounds and counting, right. I mean yesterday I actually thought the skin on my stomach was being ripped open there was so much pressure from her stretching out in there....alas, with my luck she's still only a pound and I'm going to have to endure another 9 weeks of massive growth and holy moly, I cant even think about it!!

So take a gander and those precious prints!! I went to Hobby Lobby today and that can only mean one thing.....Nursery Wall Art!!! I'm starting a project to make some super dooper cute wall decor for Noah's nursery. It's going to take about 2 weeks because I've enlisted the help of my sister-in-law for some stenciling and expert cutting- and I don't see her again until after the 4th of July, but it's going to be fabulous. Of course I'll post final product pictures.

That's all for now, folks. I'm about to go rip Chad's head off of his shoulders because if he's not licking all of the cinnabon glaze off his fingers and smacking, then he's crunching ice, and I'm a woman on the verge of going ballistic. Mouth noises are my nails on a chalk board. Other than that, life is lovely. Hope y'all are having a great week! Layne...

So Many Decisions. Not a good situation for an indecisive person.

I think I've put off researching labor and delivery too long. I know I have like 11 more weeks before my due date but just now delving into the abundance of information out there has made me feel really overwhelmed. After talking to a lady at church today I got a bee in my bonnet, so to speak, and realized there were a lot more decisions that I would have to make than I ever really thought about. She asked me a lot of questions that I really didn't have an answer to. Up until this point here is where I have been in my thought process, or imagined labor and delivery scenario:

I'd work up until I went into labor, or some other circumstance made it impossible to do so any longer. I'd have a hospital delivery with my OB delivering Noah, my mom and dad in the room with me, Chad waiting close by, I'd take an epidural, I wouldn't need an induction or any other drug-related help. Labor may be difficult, possibly long since it's my first child, but overall a pretty positive experience and vaginal delivery. I knew I really really didn't want a C-section, I really didn't want to be induced, I really didn't want to use pitocin. These were wants, but I always maintained that depending on the circumstances whatever needed to be done to ensure a safe delivery and healthy baby would be fine.

What I'm thinking about now:

Still planning on working up until my water breaks unless instructed otherwise. Still have a hospital delivery with my OB delivering Noah. If the situation allows for it then having my mom and dad in the room with me, Chad waiting close-by. Except now I'm thinking about the fact that my parents are 13 hours away-hopefully everything will go as planned and they'll be there, but they might not be. Chad's parents are several hours away so same situation with them, and Chad no matter how bad he may want to be in the room with me feels very certain that he wont be able to due to the fact that he does not physically handle hospitals, blood, etc well. (think nausea and fainting) SO, basically I am risking not having a family member with me or anyone I feel comfortable with to help me through labor/delivery. I still think I'd like as little pain as is possible during child birth, but now I'm worry about being completely numb. What if the epidural affects me weirdly, what if I'm too disoriented to enjoy the beauty of the experience, what if I'm sick from the medicine? I want a vaginal delivery, but what if something goes wrong, am I willing to allow a c-section without a second thought? What if my doctor says I need to be induced? She told us upfront that she uses Pitocin with inductions, am I going to be ok letting that happen?

Things I'm looking into at this point:

A Doula. I'm super busy- I work a full week, so does Chad. I work every other Saturday and observe the Sabbath on Sundays. That leaves me 2 Saturdays a month to tour the hospital, go to birthing classes, nursing classes, check out day cares, etc. All of that is not going to be feasible between now and September 2nd. With a Doula I could have someone to call any time any day, who can present me with all of the options, information, and give me an unbiased education on certain things so that I can make an informed decision. I can have someone in the room with me that has no other interest than my comfort and my wishes being executed and it wouldn't be a family member that I may be inclined to flip out on (you tend to be harsher to those closer to you in times of stress). Also she can make sure my wishes are executed without the passion/risk of losing their temper with the doctors or nurses that my mom or dad might succumb to seeing their daughter stressed out or in pain. With a Doula I could get birthing instruction on my own time, and one on one nursing lessons.

I have never in my life thought I'd consider a natural birth, but is the potential of such great pain during a possibly long labor and delivery worth it to be "present" for the experience. These are things I'm contemplating. I still have no idea. My husband says I in no way would be ok during a natural delivery. Maybe not. Do I have time to dedicate to a birthing plan, meditation, hypnosis and calming music that is necessary to maintain pain during a natural birth? Who knows. Am I seriously even having this conversation with myself? I can't decide if I need to get a grip and stop being such a hippie or if I am finally on the right track of thinking. I do know I don't want any unnecessary medication, and would never opt for a c-section or induction just to limit pain or speed things up.

At this point, I'm going to get a library card and start watching some videos, and continue to read anything and everything I can find and that people send me. I'm also going to call my OB to chat a bit. She hasn't spent any time with me and does not know me as a person at all. This is not necessarily her fault, though, I'm sure if I ever voiced this opinion or posed any of these questions to her she would be more than available to me- which is what I'm hoping she'll say when I call this week.

All of you mommies out there, I'd love to hear your experiences, opinions, and get some references from you! A big disclaimer, though....no unneeded negativity. I want to know your experiences and opinions, but I want them so I can make my own decisions. So please know that I want to here your bad and good information but I don't want to hear that I'm stupid if I do/don't do it the way that worked for you. With that being said- comment, email, message me with anything you think I should know! I'm all ears! Love, Layne

....but I'm still happy

I have been feeling super sorry for myself lately. Very complainy, stressed, and low. That is not a fun way to feel, nor are the accompanying reasons behind the feelings (did that make sense?). I haven't been blogging a lot because I am super busy, but also because I didn't want to get run away with venting too much and furthering my pity party.Tonight, however, even though I haven't had more than 3 hours sleep in 9 nights and I had a generally not-great day...I'm happy. I am a happy girl, and it's a great feeling! The happiness may be the result of complete and total delirium, which if that is the case- I'll take it, or it could be because I have a lot going for me. God has blessed me more than I could have ever imagined and I feel like with our family growing it is only going to get better.

Here are some things that I'm reflecting on tonight that are fueling this re-found positive attitude:

1. My mom. My mom is not perfect, we fight like sisters, and our opinions and beliefs grow more and more different with each passing year but I feel certain that there are few people if anyone else in the entire world who loves me as much as she does. She will join my pity party any day and not feed me some bs line about cheering up. Instead, she has started sending me -everyday- a way/reason/what-have-you in which my situation could be worse than it is right now. (By the way my situation being lack of sleep, restless legs, and a huge belly that gives me cramps bad enough to buckle my knees) Anyway, here has what I have been sent so far to put some perspective to my current complaints. Day one was: I could be ugly.- AMEN to that. I do attest with pride and vanity that I would rather be lacking sleep than ugly. Day two was: my husband could be ugly. PREACH! That too, would be worse than the walking zombie I've been of late. Today's reason was: if I was a member of the Afar tribe of Africa then I wouldn't be able to wear a bra and my boobs would hang down to my knees. Say what you will about this being silly, but so far she's three for three folks, and I dare say it's working.

2. My job. I have been with my new job for three or four weeks now, and I absolutely love it. It was a natural fit, I didn't have to over exert myself to get along with the other two ladies I work with, and the job description is something I'm comfortable with and good at. For any of you who have ever had a job you disliked, then you know how good it feels to have one you do like! I don't mind going in every day and I find myself not necessarily wanting to be there on my days off, but at least wondering how the others at work are doing without me.

3. My boys. My hubby has been working long hours at the new office to make sure he is taking care of his end of providing a stable future for us. I work from 8 to 5:30, go to spin class afterwards until 7:30, and he's just getting home about the time I am. We spend just a little portion of the day together, but just being near him is a pleasure and I've found a comfort and sweetness to our routine of dinner and jeopardy and chatting about our days. Also, as he is quick to point out- he is sort of a studmuffin. My MoMo (the smaller, fury, four-legged man in my life) has entered into full-fledged mama's boy-dom and follows me every where I go, no matter what I'm doing, and I could walk in circles and he'd be right at my ankles. He's attentive and loving and I can only imagine how much he will adore baby Noah when she gets here! One of my favorite times of day is bath time. I grab my book and run a bath (not too hot, don't worry) and slice up and apple to snack on. Mo comes with and lays on the bathmat and we share the apple while I soak my bones and read. If it gets late and I haven't ventured upstairs for bath time yet, MoMo very courteously reminds me that I owe him some quality time, and of course, apple slices.

4. Sunday School. It's been a few months since I was called to be the adult Sunday School teacher at church. I was terrified of the task. I have only been a Latter-Day Saint something like 4 years and I'm supposed to teach a bunch of adults and life-long church members about the Gospel? Oh no. There must be some mistake, right? Wrong. It is more evident to me than ever that the callings to serve we receive at church are meant for exactly who receives them. I know that this job is benefiting me, and causing my faith and testimony to grow mountains, probably more so than any of the ladies and gentleman I teach each week. Our lessons this year come from the New Testament and each week I get to study in depth, ponder and pray on the amazing teachings of Christ while he was on the Earth. There is a small burden to the idea of the task at hand each week, but the minute I open my teaching manual and read about the lesson I am quickly caught up in the Spirit and find myself not only enlightened but frequently edified. It's so awesome.

I'm so sleepy laying here in bed writing this, feeling the heinous restless legs sensation from my toes to my tush and worrying about another night sleepless, but I have to admit that I am one lucky girl. Those awesome things that I have in my life keep me going, keep me humble and keep me truly happy to the core of my being. I'll shout it from the rooftops if necessary. I love my life....and I love all of you. Layne

I'm ready to not be pregnant...is that bad?

Over the past few weeks my desire to not be pregnant anymore has been steadily increasing and I fear it's not going away. I am so anxious to meet my baby girl, I can't wait to hold her and snuggle her and generally let my world revolve completely around her! BUT. I feel really guilty that I'm not able to enjoy this time like I probably should- I have a constant companion that never lets me forget she's there, and many times during the day she puts a smile on my face. However, for the most part I am just completely over this whole pregnancy thing. It's making me cranky and negative and complainy (made up that word). I hate being those things. I like to be happy, I try and be happy now, and I'm certainly not unhappy- but I'm frustrated, and emotional, and frankly to put it simply: over it.

It's a horrible thing but my vanity is really running my life right now. My body keeps getting bigger and every fiber of my being hates it. Maybe that makes me a bad mommy. I read all of these articles and blogs and advice that says enjoy your body changing and the reason behind your transformation- I can't. I hate those articles. Those articles are, for me, similar to being totally ticked off and having someone tell you to "turn that frown upside down" or my all-tim least favorite "you catch more bees with honey than vinegar". When I'm pissed and someone says that junk to me I want to punch them in their face. And since I'm totally insecure with my body and having such an unbearable time adjusting- reading those articles about loving your body and embracing the growth seriously make me want to punch someone. I have such anxiety about this weight gain- even though I know it has to happen in order for Noah to be healthy. I am so self conscious, always have been, and being pregnant hasn't changed that one bit. Not one bit. Now instead of comparing my body to other women my age, my friends, celebrities- I still do that and additionally compare my pregnant body to other pregnant women's bodies. Double trouble. I've been working my behind off. An hour spin class every day- sweat baby sweat! I go either before or after I work a full days labor- and I love it. The spin class helps. I can tell an immediate change. It gets my endorphines pumping and I truly enjoy being healthy and working out! I get obsessed over it- and that's not a bad thing because being healthy is a great place to have focus. What is bad now is that when I'm weighing in despite meticulously counting calorIE, managing my diet, plus the hour long turbo spin classes: I am still gaining weight. No biggie, right? I know it's supposed to happen that way, but my ego- my emotions- my natural instincts are having a hard time handling it and I feel bad about myself, and get blue. Phooey. This would be so much easier if I weren't pregnant!!! That is all I can think about. If this were me 7-8 months ago the pounds would be dripping off and I'd be creeping closer and closer to 100 pounds instead of closer and closer to creeping past 140. Crud.

I don't want to push it, I'm not willing to starve myself, or jeopardize Noah's health. I'm not crazy, and I'm not suffering from an eating disorder- I just hate not being in control. I want to be able to decide the outcome. I can't, though, because if I were deciding then my decision would be to lose weight- and nature says that isn't possible, not without compromising those things that I'm not willing to compromise. Sheesh. A little over 11 weeks - then I'll have not only an amazingly perfect little daughter but hopefully only the standard six weeks to wait before I can fully submerge myself in some serious dieting and exercising. Then I'll be able to do it without having to worry that I'm endangering my unborn child.

My biggest mistake yet? Looking back at the facebook album from last fall before I got pregnant. Idiot move. I don't even recognize myself anymore.

For now, I just keep on working out, sticking to my diet regiment, and praying for strength. Praying for some enlightenment, and praying to get through this last trimester!!!! Send up some prayers, good thought, well wishes- whatever you feel so inclined to do for me! Love, Layne

Childhood Memories

A facebook post from a very old and dear friend has got me thinking about my childhood and all the memories it contains...Sights, sounds, smells, people and places. It's amazing how random the mix of things that I so vividly remember are...I wonder if my mom and dad and grandparents would be surprised and what stuck and what didn't.... here are just a few lovely things I've thought of tonight.

Two of the most vivid smells I associate with being a kid is No More Tangles spray, and these Peter Rabbit tea cookies we used to eat when my mom would set up...tea, of course! Those two smells stick out so strongly in my mind that even though I think both products are no longer made- I could recognize them a mile away.

There are a lot of songs that I have memories of from being little, some I can remember as early as being a toddler. They are not limited to, but include: In The Pines sung by my Granny, You Are So Beautiful To Me sung by my Daddy, Rocking in the Rocking Chair sung by my Mama, Walky Joe Creepy Charlie cooed by my Yia Yia, Who Put the Bop sung by my Paw Paw....AND pretty much every Raffi song....ever.

With food I have bizarre recollections- kraft mac'n'cheese with hotdogs cut up in it, Spam, watermelon eaten at Surfside beach, and always getting stuck at the dinner table because I refused to drink my milk. I even remember the plastic cups that had the liquid in between the two layers and the glitter and shapes floating in them that we had to drink our milk out of. Bleck, still can't stomach plain milk.

Sights....I remember our trip to Disney World but what I remember most was that my little brother got temporary Bells Palsy or something of the sort and the whole trip was spent worrying about him and not having fun (at least thats how my memory plays it) and I remember a trip to the Highlands with my two girlfriends, we may have been 8 or so, and skinny dipping in a lake that was wayyy too cold!

I remember people from way way back when I was very little but I think I may have some things mixed up with them. For instance, when we lived off of Kilbourne Rd I remember on one side of us was a boy who was a little older than my older brother, named Chad, and I'm pretty sure they hung out a good bit, and on the other side of us was this old woman who lived in a
(pretty) big house by herself after her husband died and I think she owned a camper-trailer, and let us ride around in it once or twice. ----These memories are impressive, people- even if they're skewed, because this was when I was 3.

Ok, the hubby just walked in from church group and I'm distracted- enough nostalgia for the night!! Love y'all---p.s. I hope this has caused you to think up some of your childhood memories, too! Layne

This is my town...(nana-na-na-naaah)

I had the most perfect small-town experience today on my way home from work. I stopped at a produce stand that I frequent often that sits off the side of I-20 because I've been going through produce crazy fast this summer and I needed some more tomatoes. Baby girl is loving up some tomatoes. Here's the scene: I'm there in my black peep-toe wedges, work outfit, pearls, etc. (don't get me wrong I wasn't rockin' designer duds but I looked very put together) the other shopper was a gentleman who I'd say was probably mid 50's maybe as old as mid 60's...he was barefoot and wearing pajama pants that he'd cut into shorts and had his Jack Russell "Skippy" with him running around all of the food unleashed. We were two completely different people, I'd guess living two completely different lifestyles but he was from my town and that makes him my neighbor. We shared such a quaint sweet moment the two of us under one produce tent chatting about our love of "maters" and dogs. That is what I have absolutely come to LOVE about this town! I work in Augusta, GA surrounded by big names, big stores, everything and anything I could need materially, and I get to come home to North Augusta, SC pick up my maters and come home to my beautiful neighborhood and friendly neighbors. I think I could be here my whole life....which is good because there is a good chance I will be!

Now, you know I love talking about my food!! So heres the reason why I was out of tomatoes and needed more. I have become obsessed with this pasta dish I've been making! I've had it like 3 out of the past 5 nights!! SO...here it is:

Italian Tofu Pasta

Shirataki Tofu noodles - rinse really really well in colander and boil for like 3 minutes-drain.

1/2 sweet onion diced and sauteed in 1-2 tbsp light margarine

add diced tomato to sauteed onions

add garlic to onion/tomato mixture

spinach leaves

salt and pepper

add in cooked noodles and toss

total calories is 220 and it makes one large serving or two regular servings.

I add either Quorn meatless meatballs or chik'n bits to it for protein!! Which adds about 160-180 more calories.

SO DELICIOUS!

Hope y'all enjoy, love you! Layne

Some tid bits...

Y'all I haven't blogged in ages it feels like! I have just been so busy, and so tired, I couldn't even drag myself to the computer!! Also, I've been kind of whiny lately (about pregnancy not life in general) and I don't ever want to use the blog to complain. I really wanted to drop a line tonight, though. So here are a few odds and ends - random thoughts and pieces of info I thought I'd share!

First off, Chad opened his State Farm agency this week!! I am so unbelievably proud of him. He is official and opened for business. If any of you are in the state of South Carolina please give him a shout for an insurance quote and see if he can save you money! Chad@northaugustainsurance.com ----yes that was shameless, but I wouldn't recommend him if he couldn't take care of you!!

I am obsessed with this vegetarian chili that I found in the freezer section at Earth Fare. It is ridiculously delicious. It tastes just like real chili! I put some Texas Pete and a slice of fat free cheese in it- ohemgee. It was all under 200 calories for one bowl- even awesomer (yes that's a word)!

I started taking a spin class this week! Sevens months pregnant, yep. My boss at work goes like 2 sometimes 3 times a day and loves it, and we kept saying how we couldn't wait until after I had Noah because I could come too. Well, I'm already dieting and exercising, and I thought- I wonder if I could go before Noah came. I Googled, researched and found that with a few adjustments I could definitely spin while pregnant. Attention preggos everywhere don't rush out and hurt yourself because I said it's ok to spin. Here is what I learned, I was in great shape before I got pregnant, I have continued to exercise, and stay in good shape, and I know my body's limitations therefore it is ok for me to do this type of aerobic exercise. From my research I learned that I needed to raise the handle bars higher than normal to ensure my balance stays intact and also because it's sort of uncomfortable to lean over with a belly as big as mine. Also, like anything else you do pregnant or not if you feel faint or too tired- stop! Anyways- I love it! It kicks my butt, but I feel great afterwards and I just flat out really like it. I think I'll continue to go!!

Lastly, I nominated a fellow blogger who I think is awesome and I would like to ask all of you to vote for her for BlogHer Voice of the Year....http://www.blogher.com/judging-crunchy

I nominated her for a recent post that I thought was insightful, sensitive, powerful and downright great! (Similar to most of her posts) If you want to sample before you vote- visit her blog http://exploitsofamilitarymama.com/ you wont regret it! Also, totally join BlogHer there are so many amazing women out there in the world who have great things to say!!

That's all for now, love ya! Layne