Tuesday, June 14, 2011

....but I'm still happy

I have been feeling super sorry for myself lately. Very complainy, stressed, and low. That is not a fun way to feel, nor are the accompanying reasons behind the feelings (did that make sense?). I haven't been blogging a lot because I am super busy, but also because I didn't want to get run away with venting too much and furthering my pity party.Tonight, however, even though I haven't had more than 3 hours sleep in 9 nights and I had a generally not-great day...I'm happy. I am a happy girl, and it's a great feeling! The happiness may be the result of complete and total delirium, which if that is the case- I'll take it, or it could be because I have a lot going for me. God has blessed me more than I could have ever imagined and I feel like with our family growing it is only going to get better.

Here are some things that I'm reflecting on tonight that are fueling this re-found positive attitude:

1. My mom. My mom is not perfect, we fight like sisters, and our opinions and beliefs grow more and more different with each passing year but I feel certain that there are few people if anyone else in the entire world who loves me as much as she does. She will join my pity party any day and not feed me some bs line about cheering up. Instead, she has started sending me -everyday- a way/reason/what-have-you in which my situation could be worse than it is right now. (By the way my situation being lack of sleep, restless legs, and a huge belly that gives me cramps bad enough to buckle my knees) Anyway, here has what I have been sent so far to put some perspective to my current complaints. Day one was: I could be ugly.- AMEN to that. I do attest with pride and vanity that I would rather be lacking sleep than ugly. Day two was: my husband could be ugly. PREACH! That too, would be worse than the walking zombie I've been of late. Today's reason was: if I was a member of the Afar tribe of Africa then I wouldn't be able to wear a bra and my boobs would hang down to my knees. Say what you will about this being silly, but so far she's three for three folks, and I dare say it's working.

2. My job. I have been with my new job for three or four weeks now, and I absolutely love it. It was a natural fit, I didn't have to over exert myself to get along with the other two ladies I work with, and the job description is something I'm comfortable with and good at. For any of you who have ever had a job you disliked, then you know how good it feels to have one you do like! I don't mind going in every day and I find myself not necessarily wanting to be there on my days off, but at least wondering how the others at work are doing without me.

3. My boys. My hubby has been working long hours at the new office to make sure he is taking care of his end of providing a stable future for us. I work from 8 to 5:30, go to spin class afterwards until 7:30, and he's just getting home about the time I am. We spend just a little portion of the day together, but just being near him is a pleasure and I've found a comfort and sweetness to our routine of dinner and jeopardy and chatting about our days. Also, as he is quick to point out- he is sort of a studmuffin. My MoMo (the smaller, fury, four-legged man in my life) has entered into full-fledged mama's boy-dom and follows me every where I go, no matter what I'm doing, and I could walk in circles and he'd be right at my ankles. He's attentive and loving and I can only imagine how much he will adore baby Noah when she gets here! One of my favorite times of day is bath time. I grab my book and run a bath (not too hot, don't worry) and slice up and apple to snack on. Mo comes with and lays on the bathmat and we share the apple while I soak my bones and read. If it gets late and I haven't ventured upstairs for bath time yet, MoMo very courteously reminds me that I owe him some quality time, and of course, apple slices.

4. Sunday School. It's been a few months since I was called to be the adult Sunday School teacher at church. I was terrified of the task. I have only been a Latter-Day Saint something like 4 years and I'm supposed to teach a bunch of adults and life-long church members about the Gospel? Oh no. There must be some mistake, right? Wrong. It is more evident to me than ever that the callings to serve we receive at church are meant for exactly who receives them. I know that this job is benefiting me, and causing my faith and testimony to grow mountains, probably more so than any of the ladies and gentleman I teach each week. Our lessons this year come from the New Testament and each week I get to study in depth, ponder and pray on the amazing teachings of Christ while he was on the Earth. There is a small burden to the idea of the task at hand each week, but the minute I open my teaching manual and read about the lesson I am quickly caught up in the Spirit and find myself not only enlightened but frequently edified. It's so awesome.

I'm so sleepy laying here in bed writing this, feeling the heinous restless legs sensation from my toes to my tush and worrying about another night sleepless, but I have to admit that I am one lucky girl. Those awesome things that I have in my life keep me going, keep me humble and keep me truly happy to the core of my being. I'll shout it from the rooftops if necessary. I love my life....and I love all of you. Layne


mary had a... said...

i pretty much love everything you said, especially your mom's daily reminders...and thanks for reminding me, i'm a happy girl too :)

Heather said...

haha I love your mom! And of course what she said is so true :) Love ya, girl!