Thursday, August 25, 2011

My thoughts and review of daytime televison- aka- recap of my day to day life.

Bed rest has me stuck on the couch for hours on end. Unless I have a doctor's appoint, get lucky and run an errand with Chad or for the 30 minutes a day I sit on the front porch for some Vitamin D- my entire rest of the day is either sleeping or watching the awful shows that are on mid-day. There are a few exceptions to the awfulness, but frankly anything loses it's appeal in the quantity that I've been watching it. So here are my thoughts on the few shows that have become a part of my every day life. I've been on bed rest since August 8th---so that is a heck of a lot of hours spent in front of the TV. I've watched a ton of movies, too, and read 2 books, but the rest was spent like this....

Property Virgins:

Sandra, how do you restrain yourself from punching some of these people in the face? Where were you in March when we bought our home? We would have been so good to you. P.S. Whoever does your wardrobe needs to be fired. Sorry.

Property Brothers:

Since we’ve been spending so much time together I feel personally invested in your lives. Are you both homosexual? Not that it matters to me, but I’m curious. I’m pretty sure Drew is, but I can’t tell with Jonathan. Or, maybe they’re both just metro with sensational interior design style. Side note: their wiki page says they do magic shows in Vegas in their spare time…..just sayin...

Yard Crashers:

Ahmed, you are awesome, and kinda hot. Why oh why won’t you come to the Lowes in N. Augusta, you can’t miss it- it’s the only large chain store we have other than WalMart. This show has made it depressingly obvious that my yard needs to be “crashed” pretty dang bad.

Curb Appeal:

See above statement about yard. Ours is definitely the ugly duckling on the block.

General Hospital:

Why is everyone being so mean to Sonny? Don’t they know he has a good heart and just wants his friends and family to be happy and safe? Spinelli- what’s with the accent and amnesia? Sky- you look old, go back to not being on television, thanks.

Keeping Up with the Kardashians:

Kris Jenner- you’re kinda a giant money grubbing b-word who ignores her husband and traditional mom and wife duties. This season is not shedding a flattering light on you. Rob- you used to be cute and some comic relief but now you just seem like a tick hanging on for dear life... and you got a little fat.

House Hunters/ HH International:

It is absolutely fool proof that if a couple is shown a property outside of their budget, then that is the one they choose. Don't get confused, if it's on the high end of their budget- that does not guarantee it, only if it is above their budget. What's the point of even setting a budget, folks?

Paula's Best Dishes:

Paula, dear, I have to agree with Bourdain. You are killing America- but that doesn't mean I don't absolutely love you. Also, I have made a promise to myself to cut you out of my life once I have this baby. If I don't I'll never lose my pregnancy weight. Please don't cry. Go make yourself something absolutely delicious that will continue to clog your probably rock-hard arteries and console yourself.

Love, Layne


Emily and Cory said...

This made me laugh so much because when I was on bed rest, I watched HGTV all day long and thought so many of those things! It definitely gets to be a best of the worst scenario when it comes to daytime tv. Also, Cory and I wonder about the property brothers too. We haven't come to a decision yet though! It's very tricky. :)

Sheila said...

Layne, I know you want this baby to hurry up and come, but we are going to miss all your posts!!! You keep me laughing. I love all the "punch in the face" comments!! Please don't want to "punch me in the face" for saying that!! Love you! Sheila

Layne Stalvey said...

Haha! I love that other people have the same thoughts!! Sheila- there will probably ALWAYS be someone I want to punch in the face, and I can guarantee it wont ever be you!!

Amy said...

have I told you lately that I love you. This blog post is one of the reasons why :) hahahaha

ohkeeka said...

HA! I love this. When we were house hunting, I obsessively watched all of those HGTV shows. The best Property Virgin episodes are the ones where they don't have the financing lined up before they start looking. Stupid! People!

Good luck with the rest of your pregnancy!