I'm scared in my own home.

So we officially have the creepiest kid. Ever. Eh-vurr. Noah has perfected the art of super stealthy, totally creepster, dark corner-lurking, sneaking through our house- at ALL hours of the day and night. She is half peeping Tom half ninja assassin. It started innocently enough...I think all parents with toddlers know the absolutely scared shitless (pardon my French) feeling of groggily opening your eyes from slumber to a head less than an inch from your face. Even better is a eerie sing-song "Mooommmyyyy" echoing in the pitch black dark of a hallway beckoning you out of REM sleep. Next it evolved into unplanned games of hide and seek, and by unplanned I mean that she just decides without notice to hide silently for several minutes until you realize that she is nowhere to be found. Enter panic mode and check the bathtubs, garage, front and back yard...then I'm running from room to room looking under beds, in closets, attic cubbies, etc until I see the tiniest movement out of the corner of my eye and realized she has flattened herself to the bed and perfectly bunched up all of the covers so that I've have been in her room for over 5 minutes two separate times and she's been there the whole time undetected, and frankly completely unconcerned with the sound of panic and terror in my voice.
Lately, however, it's reached new heights. I can't even sleep at night anymore for fear that she is hiding in the shadows of our bedroom, or lurking in the hallway just outside our door waiting for the right moment to attack. Chad is having nightmares about her waking us up every hour or so- but at least he's able to sleep soundly enough to have the nightmares. Putting her to bed at all has become a little dance, she probably gets up twice before we threaten to lock her door or take her blanky and then she decides to stay put for the night....or at least that's what she wants you to think. For example, last week we did the bedtime dance and finally got her down, Chad and I made a pallet on the living room floor and put on one of our shows (White Collar, maybe?) about 1/2 hour later I think I hear the stairs creek so I tell Chad to go check, he looks for a while and returns to say that it wasn't her....but I know better...I tell him that it was her but that she heard him coming and like the ninja that she is snuck away to a hiding place to watch him. He laughed. Another hour later (if you are counting that's an hour and a half after bedtime) I look to see a face in the shadows of our unlit hallway crouched down beside our antique secretary. She is silent. She is still. She is SO scary. Chad is floored. "I TOLD YOU!!!" I proclaim- Chad asks Noah where she is been and how long she has been awake. She is silent. (still creepy) I ask, "Noah, did you hide from Daddy when he was looking for you on the stairs earlier?" she nods "Where were you hiding?" she doesn't blink, she doesn't speak, she slowly lifts her hand and extends it to point to our pitch black dining room. BOOM. Creepiest. Kid. EVER. I'm now taking Tylenol PM and Melatonin to try and sleep at night. It's a good thing she is so cute during the day, or I'd be forced to take her back to the store and ask for a refund. Just kidding. xoxo Layne

Using our tablet under a blanket. Every horror movie ever made tells me a child under a white blanket is  NO GOOD.

the special moments of motherhood that you are never prepared for...

I had to go to a neighboring town today to pick up a bed frame from someone selling it on Craigslist. I packed Noah in the car and headed out into a disgusting day of clouds and rain. Noah is still very much into the idea of Christmas. She still demands I sing "Away in a Manger" every night before bed, she still make believes that she is Santa every day and tells me I'm on the naughty list, and she still wants to watch "Mickey Saves Santa" any time she gets the chance. As we are driving down a back road she asks about baby Jesus in the manger. "Where is baby Jesus and his manger?" I tell her that He's not in the manger anymore, that he grew up, and now He's in heaven with Heavenly Father. She replies "What do Mary and Joseph say?" I answer that Mary and Joseph are in Heaven with Him. They are all together. Then she says "Well, how did He get there?" I stop. My mind is racing- I don't want to make up a baby-like watered down story to placate her, but I don't know if she'll understand what I really want her to know- so I just start talking and pray for the Spirit to be in the car with us. When Jesus grew up He had something big to do, and that big thing was that He had to die. He died for you and me and it hurt Him, but He died so that you and daddy and mommy could live with Him forever. It was really hard and He had to leave His mommy, but it was the best and nicest thing anyone has ever done, ever. He did it because He loves us more than anyone ever has. She didn't even blink. "I don't like that story, Mommy." I start cracking up- she is so honest, and I know exactly what she means. I don't like a lot about that story, it's a hard and truthful story to learn, even for adults, but I love my Savior. "Tell me another Jesus story." is what she says next...Ok, when Jesus was a grown-up  he traveled all over and taught people about Heavenly Father and he saw lots of sick and sad people and he healed them and made them better with His power from Heavenly Father. "He gave them medicine?" No, he touched them and talked to them and they got better magically, Jesus could make miracles happen. "Tell me another Jesus story! I love them!" she giggles. So next I tell her about the loaves and fish, and some more miracles that our Savior performed, and she was so pleased and happy to learn about Him that I just about died with pride and love. In the pouring rain, with no sun, on our way to a Craiglist house where I could have totally been killed by the Craigslist killer- I had one of the most tender and special conversations I have had in a long time. Being a mom is the best. Ever. xoxo Layne

times...they are achanging...

I don't think there was a single minute of 2013 that I didn't feel (and see) blessings from the Lord, the capstone of which was coming to an agreement with my employer that I would spend 2014 working from home. Prepared to be let go, I approached my benevolent boss and laid it on the line: I love this job, but I've been commuting for a year, and I just can't do it anymore. I want to work for you, but I just can't do it from the office. I was extremely flattered and grateful when he said he wanted to make it work. I'm sure there will be some kinks to work out- and it may not last long, but I'm thrilled to have the opportunity to continue to contribute to our household income while dropping the drive and getting more time to be with the hubs and butter bean.

The idea of working from home was really intimidating. I've been doing it part time for a while now, but the other part of time I was in the office so I never got out of the loop. Now I have to worry about keeping communication flowing, not letting anyone down, staying organized and scheduled...so far so good, but still it's a little overwhelming to sort out at first. Even more than the working part scares me the home part scares me even more! All December I wrestled with thoughts of- will hubs expect the house to look like Martha Stewart cleaned it? Because Martha, I aint. Or, will I get sick of being around Noah and start to loose patience with her when she doesn't deserve it? Can I stick to a budget that will accommodate our reduced income, and the online shopping that will taunt me daily? I prayed for guidance and consolation, and talked it out with hubs and by Jan 1 I was more at peace with the new territory that was before me.

One of my personal goals for this year will be to take some of the time that I'm saving by not having to commute and blog a little. About me, about the fam, about how the new work situation is going- anything really. I want to take advantage of how therapeutic sitting here and typing and posting these thoughts and updates into the unknown can be. My current update: the house is disheveled from a week of neglect while we've shared the dreaded norovirus with each other, laundry is caught up because we washed everything in the house, and I've been busy at work planning for January and February. Good but not great! Still, I'm excited for this year. I am sensing good things to come!

xoxo
L

Milestones...

I always knew that time flies when you're having fun, but I wasn't prepared for time moving at warp speed when you have a kid. If I think about it too much I can work myself into a complete meltdown. If the first year felt like a month does each year feel that short? Will it feel like only a few years and she'll be an adult?!?! Ohmigosh- sometimes I really can't handle it. In some ways I would be ok if she stayed a baby forever...always wanting to snuggle me and kiss me and wallow with me. I'm holding on to those special moments hoping they never change. I know I snuggled and wallowed with my mama up until, well, up until she lived in a different state and I had a baby demanding all of my attention, but we still snuggle as often as we can. Noah is getting so grown up so fast. It seems like she learns something new and masters a new skill every single day. I call family and friends as much as I can to update them but sometimes I forget things, or get too busy and I don't get to brag on my little butter-bean as much as I'd like. So, here are some of Noah's current hobbies, skills, and new milestones. She will be 18 months old at the end of the month, so her attitude is VERY much a two year old's, she is WAY too smart for her own good, and for my patience.

Noah is obsessed with Mickey Mouse Clubhouse, at least one episode is watched every day. Minnie, Donald, and Daisy are her favorites. She interacts when they ask her to say things like "Cheers" "Super Cheers" and "Ooooh Tooodles!!!"

She loves to dance. I'm hesitant to admit that she loves rap and hiphop, but it's got the best beats, so what are ya gonna do?!

She sings ALL of the time. The words to songs are still a little above her, but, so far she has mastered "Old MacDonald" and the "Hot Dog" song. She can do the motions for "Popcorn Popping", and will mumble through "Twinkle Twinkle" and "Jesus Loves Me".

She recognizes Jesus in any picture. She will point and say "Cheeeeesussss!"

She eats literally any and everything- although the amount she eats changes day to day. She loves chicken nuggets, hot dogs, and graham crackers which are typical for her age, but she also ADORES broccoli, asparagus, hummus, spinach, lettuce, mushrooms, apples, and greenbeans.

She can point to and identify every member of our family in pictures and on skype which is about 22 people including Great-grandparents, her Godmother, and one honorary Aunt (thats right Aunt Caitrin!).

She can name and make the noise for a dog, cat, duck, horse, bird, frog, sheep, goat, cow, monkey, bunny, bear, and my favorite, elephant.

She can count to 3. It sounds like Tuh, Two, Free.

She can identify the letter "A" and immediately says "apple" afterwards because it was on a worksheet she colored.

She says too many words to count- 50+. Currently her favorite word is "No". Ahhh, no. Can't say I love it so much, but at least makes herself clear, haha.

She is a SASSY PANTS when she wants to be. She will start popping her hand saying "No No No" and proceed to break our rules. I guess she thinks she'll punish herself in order to be able to commit the crime. She'll also break the rules on purpose while saying "Sorry" which sounds like "Saucy". She has been known to throw her cup on the ground and say "Sauuucy, Mommy..."

She can show you her eyes, ears, nose, mouth, teeth, hands, fingers, feet, toes, belly button and <blush> boobies. She LOVES being naked.

She runs and climbs and tumbles and jumps and scares us half to death on a minute to minute basis.

Momo is her best friend in the world. She easily loves him more than anyone else. He is the first person she looks for when she wakes up, comes home, or enters a room.

We just got her a big girl potty to test the waters of future potty training. I got the Minnie Mouse potty and SHE LOVES IT. Last night she tee-teed in the potty like a big girl. We're not holding our breath that it will happen a ton right now, but it's great to see that it's not a scary or difficult concept for her.

She's fearless. She likes the big kid slides, and big kid swings, she leaps off of furniture into your arms- sometimes when you don't even know she's coming!!


I love her more than words can say. She is a constant challenge and blessing. She reminds me what is it to have a pure heart and unselfish love. She's the perfect example of why we are told to become like a child in order to know the Lord and receive his blessings. Here are some pictures and a video of her at Monkey Joes! Peace and Love, Layne