Milestones...

I always knew that time flies when you're having fun, but I wasn't prepared for time moving at warp speed when you have a kid. If I think about it too much I can work myself into a complete meltdown. If the first year felt like a month does each year feel that short? Will it feel like only a few years and she'll be an adult?!?! Ohmigosh- sometimes I really can't handle it. In some ways I would be ok if she stayed a baby forever...always wanting to snuggle me and kiss me and wallow with me. I'm holding on to those special moments hoping they never change. I know I snuggled and wallowed with my mama up until, well, up until she lived in a different state and I had a baby demanding all of my attention, but we still snuggle as often as we can. Noah is getting so grown up so fast. It seems like she learns something new and masters a new skill every single day. I call family and friends as much as I can to update them but sometimes I forget things, or get too busy and I don't get to brag on my little butter-bean as much as I'd like. So, here are some of Noah's current hobbies, skills, and new milestones. She will be 18 months old at the end of the month, so her attitude is VERY much a two year old's, she is WAY too smart for her own good, and for my patience.

Noah is obsessed with Mickey Mouse Clubhouse, at least one episode is watched every day. Minnie, Donald, and Daisy are her favorites. She interacts when they ask her to say things like "Cheers" "Super Cheers" and "Ooooh Tooodles!!!"

She loves to dance. I'm hesitant to admit that she loves rap and hiphop, but it's got the best beats, so what are ya gonna do?!

She sings ALL of the time. The words to songs are still a little above her, but, so far she has mastered "Old MacDonald" and the "Hot Dog" song. She can do the motions for "Popcorn Popping", and will mumble through "Twinkle Twinkle" and "Jesus Loves Me".

She recognizes Jesus in any picture. She will point and say "Cheeeeesussss!"

She eats literally any and everything- although the amount she eats changes day to day. She loves chicken nuggets, hot dogs, and graham crackers which are typical for her age, but she also ADORES broccoli, asparagus, hummus, spinach, lettuce, mushrooms, apples, and greenbeans.

She can point to and identify every member of our family in pictures and on skype which is about 22 people including Great-grandparents, her Godmother, and one honorary Aunt (thats right Aunt Caitrin!).

She can name and make the noise for a dog, cat, duck, horse, bird, frog, sheep, goat, cow, monkey, bunny, bear, and my favorite, elephant.

She can count to 3. It sounds like Tuh, Two, Free.

She can identify the letter "A" and immediately says "apple" afterwards because it was on a worksheet she colored.

She says too many words to count- 50+. Currently her favorite word is "No". Ahhh, no. Can't say I love it so much, but at least makes herself clear, haha.

She is a SASSY PANTS when she wants to be. She will start popping her hand saying "No No No" and proceed to break our rules. I guess she thinks she'll punish herself in order to be able to commit the crime. She'll also break the rules on purpose while saying "Sorry" which sounds like "Saucy". She has been known to throw her cup on the ground and say "Sauuucy, Mommy..."

She can show you her eyes, ears, nose, mouth, teeth, hands, fingers, feet, toes, belly button and <blush> boobies. She LOVES being naked.

She runs and climbs and tumbles and jumps and scares us half to death on a minute to minute basis.

Momo is her best friend in the world. She easily loves him more than anyone else. He is the first person she looks for when she wakes up, comes home, or enters a room.

We just got her a big girl potty to test the waters of future potty training. I got the Minnie Mouse potty and SHE LOVES IT. Last night she tee-teed in the potty like a big girl. We're not holding our breath that it will happen a ton right now, but it's great to see that it's not a scary or difficult concept for her.

She's fearless. She likes the big kid slides, and big kid swings, she leaps off of furniture into your arms- sometimes when you don't even know she's coming!!


I love her more than words can say. She is a constant challenge and blessing. She reminds me what is it to have a pure heart and unselfish love. She's the perfect example of why we are told to become like a child in order to know the Lord and receive his blessings. Here are some pictures and a video of her at Monkey Joes! Peace and Love, Layne

Ah-ha moment...

2013 has been pretty rough on my family so far. We've been hit with a lot of unexpected trials and challenges, more than I ever thought possible in such a short amount of time. I've had a lot of talks lately with close friends, who also have similar stories of great struggles put in their lives in the few weeks we've had this year. I've tried to grin and bear it, with the help of my husband and distractions of work and a beautiful baby I have tried not to dwell on the things that are so easy to get caught up in, but today I felt like I was going to break. Physically and emotionally I am drained, and I feel that spiritually I am very much being challenged by God. I feel extremely humbled and chastened. I feel ashamed and aware. I feel sorrow, but most of all now I feel peace.
   I realize that I have been like the Pharisees who Isaiah prophesied would draw near to the Lord with their lips, but who's heart is far from Him, and who worship Him in vain (Matthew 15:7-9). I am often quick to thank my Father in Heaven for my blessings, and trust He will see me through the tough times, but my actions and the despair in my heart reveal me as a hypocrite. I have become all too aware of how I have been failing God and in turn myself, and my family. My words have been saying one thing but my heart has felt another way. I have had selfish desires for these messes I'm surrounded by to go away, I've thought that enduring them patiently would be sufficient enough for the Lord to take my burden away. {Cue another obstacle} I have longed for life to be easy, and taken for granted lessons that could be learned {cue another road block} I have been ignorant to the opportunity that I'm being provided with to strengthen my relationship with the Lord and grow as a Christian wife, and mother...in short I have been ignorant, and unteachable.

   Y'all know in cartoons how sometime the hero or heroine will be physically hit with the realization that has been right in front of them the whole time? A slap on the forehead, ah-ha moment? As silly as this sounds, I was in my daughter's room tonight frantically trying to gather some close together while she was otherwise distracted and I bent down to grab a book off of the floor and when I stood up I smacked my head very very hard on the wooden microwave door of her play kitchen. I instantly collapsed onto the ground and shrieked and thought "Why me, Lord?!!!" as I squeezed my eyes together with all my might sobbing in pain and frustration. I cried and cried and gasped for air and felt so defeated. I sat there for several minutes feeling beaten and wounded (both my pride and head), and then it hit me. Not once had I asked "Why me, Lord?" not once had I prayed for a lesson, I had not sought out the Lord's word, I had not asked for guidance, I had not asked to be strengthened. I had taken for granted that God would look after me and help me through the obstacles that January presented, and my heart had been closed off to the lessons from God and promptings of the Spirit. Jeremiah 29:11-13 says "For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, says the Lord, thoughts of peace, and not of evil, to give you and expected end. Then shall you call upon me, and you shall go and pray unto me, and I will hearken unto you. And you shall seek me, and find me, when you shall search for me with all your heart."

    I know that the Lord does not intend for us to struggle through this life as he watches on. He wants us to always seek Him, so that he is with us in times of trouble, and when we face adversity, and when we find ourselves in darkness. He wants us to follow the example of the Savior and walk with Him. He does not leave us alone, but we have to seek Him out. We can not worship in vain, or take the gifts and tools He has given us for granted. Jesus said, I am the light of the world, he that followeth me shall not walk in darkness, but shall have the light of life. It is so easy to be faithful when times are good and easy, but it is faith in times of trial that makes us better Christians and people. I have to remember that to be Spiritually minded is life and peace (Romans 8:6). I had been relying on God to be with me, but not realizing that I had let him get away from me. 

     I truly feel that 2013 has amazing things in store for me and my family, and I know that I can do all thing through Christ who strengthens me. I hope you don't forget to seek out the Lord every second of every day, all of the time. If you never let Him out of your heart there will be no dark days. I feel renewed and no longer defeated, and I am grateful that I can share this with you. Peace and love, Layne

       

      

Learning, learning, learning, and obedience.

We are at this point with Noah where she is in this phase of full-blown: I'm not a baby anymore and I'm discovering all of these new things that I'm capable of doing, and I'm pushing boundaries, testing limits, and seeing how much can I get away with. The majority of the time this is hilarious, some of the time it's frustrating, often times it is exhausting, but all of the time it is absolutely astonishing at how smart she is and how quickly she is growing. I just wanted to share some of her new quirks with you and some perspective it's given me on motherhood and life...

     The most annoying of all of Noah's new habits is definitely that fact that she WILL NOT keep her shoes on in the car, and most of the time she opts to take her socks off, too. This seems minor, but since she's in and out of the car several times a day being toted to and from the babysitter's house to home and running errands with the sitter, shoes get removed and put back on what seems like a bajillion (real word) times a day. Some times it will be one, sometimes both...and a lot of times it takes a ridiculously long time to relocate said removed shoes. My personal favorite is the piercing screams from back seat where she sits frustrated as heck trying to pull off her socks, too. I can't say that I don't get it. I mean, I'm from South Carolina, we do barefoot well. I'm not ashamed to say I've pulled a Britney a time or two...but as a mother  who's child is capable of putting her foot in her mouth (and often does) I just don't want her walking around barefoot unless it is in our home or during the summer...

      Something else that she's started doing is making use of our ample storage space in the kitchen and den. This is tricky, and is definitely fine tuning our attention to detail. When we were shopping for houses two years ago the ludicrous amount of kitchen cabinets and huge built-ins in the living room where the delicious icing on the cake for us. We seriously have about 30+ cabinets and drawers in our kitchen/family room area. Noah can now open ALL of them. She has also begun to hone her organizational skills by placing things in random cabinets and drawers where she obviously feels they belong. We find hair bows and drum sticks in with the cutting boards, half-full bottles of soy milk in with our grilling supplies, it's crazy. I just know one day we're going to come home to the smell of some food/beverage rotting and have absolutely no idea what it is and where she's stashed it.

Her second favorite thing to open now is the pull-out trash can. Y'all know what I'm talking about, right? Our trash can compartment looks like a cabinet and you pull it out, well Noah loves it. We tell her "yucky" and try and divert her attention to something else, but much to our chagrin we often find her on her tip toes checking out the garbage. Night before last I opened the drawer to throw something away and was greeted by two books (nice ones) a chain of links, and two plastic bowls resting atop the rest of our household trash. Chad was standing there and scolded her "No!" he then directed her attention to her cabinet, (which is one right next to the trash can) that we have given her to use as she pleases. "This is your cabinet," he points and puts all of her things back in it, "This is a no!" he says again sternly pointing to the trash can, and then once again "Noah, this is Noah's cabinet, you can have all of your things in here, and do whatever you want in this cabinet...." Then we left her to herself. Two minutes later Chad walks overs to the sink and beckons for me to come quickly, only to see this...

     We agreed we wouldn't scold her, because all she was doing was exactly what her daddy had just told her she could do!

Her favorite thing to open, however is our pantry. I must admit, I'm usually the culprit that doesn't shut it completely allowing her to pry it open with her tiny fingers and start rearranging our shelves and opening the Milkbone box. If we open it to get anything out or put up groceries she is magically inside of it before we can even attempt to do whatever it was we needed to. The kid is ninja fast. Last night Chad put something away and was ushering her out of the pantry and closed the door on her fingers, accidentally. She cried for maybe two minutes until she was distracted by eating the ice I offered her for her fingers. He kind of looked at me frustrated and obviously upset that she had gotten hurt, and I couldn't help but smile. "Could you ever imagine chasing a little person around, scolding her, and doing it over and over again could be this amazing?" I asked him...I just wouldn't want to be spending my time in the evenings doing anything other than watching her discover, and grow. Even the testing of my patience and sometimes the boo-boos, too, are some of the best moments of my life to date. Because, you see, after she misbehaves she usually tries to do something silly, or walks over and offers a giant opened-mouth 14-month-old kiss...when she hurts herself she asks for "mama" and rests her head on my shoulder. It's bliss.

I was reading this morning and I had a revelation. I think my Heavenly Father feels the same way about me, and each of you. He doesn't want us to disobey him....he gets frustrated when we take our shoes off in the car, so to speak. But, he enjoys watching us grow, and learn, and finding out for ourselves what our limits are, and what we can handle versus what we need His help to do. He might chuckle at our attempts along the way, the way I do as I watch my daughter try new things, but He beams with love and compassion for us when we get it right, and when we obey. When we are hurt, and when we have boo-boos, whether physically, emotionally, or spiritually we can call out His name and cling to Him like a child, we can seek comfort in the loving arms of our Heavenly Father. I am go grateful during this season of Thanksgiving that I have such a great example in the Lord and His son, Jesus of what love means. Peace and much Love, Layne

I love you.

     I've had a strong feeling lately that I need to focus my time on serving the Lord. I feel very strongly the Spirit calling me to service in a larger capacity than I've ever done before. This feeling, while heavy on my heart, has sent an electric charge to every fiber of my being so that I feel like all of the molecules in my body are shaking in anticipation, as if they are at a starting line of a race waiting for the gun shot to take off and release that current of energy to go and actively serve. It's exciting, and humbling. I can't help but think that I should have this desire, and should be exerting all of my energy to serve the Lord every day, and at all times. Isn't that what we're asked to do? Romans 12:1 says "present your bodies a living sacrifice, holy, acceptable unto God, which is your reasonable service". It seems like a giant request to me. I'm one little woman, in a big world, with loads of other obligations that have much more immediate consequences if I neglect them. On a daily basis I can think of about 10 things that require action and work on my part that literally take up my entire day, how am I supposed to commit all of my time to serving when I don't have any time to spare? These are the thoughts, concerns, and doubts that I have all of the time, but as strongly as I feel this need to serve and as often as I doubt my abilities, I also know three things to be true: 1. I have been called to serve the Lord with all of my heart, might, mind, and strength (D&C 4:2). 2. The Lord will not ask me to do anything that is not possible with His help. 3. Even at my best effort, if I can give as much as my little-one woman-body can handle, it will still not even begin to repay Him for what He has done for me.
    So I've started to think and pray and learn more about serving the Lord. What I've found has made me realize that while I still feel like I'm being called to something bigger (and hopefully that will become clear to me one day), I'm realizing how many opportunities on any given day I have to be in service, and not have to change my schedule, or exhaust myself any more than I already do. I started studying what the Lord has taught us about service, and in the index (or guide) of my scriptures the very first thing under the word "Service" says "See also: love". Well, that is something I can do. I can love. I can show love for my husband, my daughter, my family, and friends. That is something I can do easily. What the Lord asks of us, however, is to love more, and to love everyone as He loves us. When we love one another we are in the service of our God. I've learned that when we love when it is hard, when it takes work, when it isn't our initial instinct or when it we are faced with someone who appears not to deserve it...that is when the Spirit is strong, that is when God's work is being done and when we are truly giving what has been asked. The Savior said, "inasmuch as ye have done it unto the least of these, ye have done it unto me" (Matthew 25:35-45). This week alone I've learned a few lessons in this.         For example, this Sunday for whatever reason (I suspect molars) my daughter was a different person. She was horrible. She screamed like she was possessed, she was disobedient, she was for lack of a better word... a nightmare. This continued into Monday when I picked her up from the sitter and she refused to come to me. She screamed when I pried her off of the woman who keeps her, and continued screaming the whole way home. I wanted to punish her for acting this way, I felt like she needed to learn a lesson and know that I would not tolerate that kind of behavior. I felt hurt by her. It is amazing how much a 14 month-old hurt my feelings, she brought me to tears. At home I felt like ignoring her and giving her the cold shoulder, and reasoned with myself that doing so was a technique the experts have said works during tantrums. I was not loving her. As we got home the thought entered my mind that I needed to be patient with her, like the Lord is patient with me. I needed to take a deep breath and be calm and show her that I loved her, and that I would wait until whatever it was that was making her so upset stopped. I could wait, and not ignore her or take my love away from her. I grabbed her flailing, sweaty, red and screaming body hugged her tight, and kissed her and let her know that her mommy was here, and it would be alright. I envisioned how my God probably gets frustrated with me when I disobey and hurt him, and how He is merciful and waits for me to act like the child he knows I can be. I'd love to say that she miraculously stopped be ornery, but she didn't. Eventually, however, she turned back into the little girl I'm used to. Until then, though, my house was filled with love and patience instead of bad feelings, and I know that I was serving in the role of a mother.
       Early in the week at work I had another experience of active love. Most of you don't know what I do for a living, but I'm in a profession where I deal with many people everyday who are "customers". It is very normal for me to be faced with mean, angry, and complaining people, and some of these people are like this all of the time. Quite often I'm forced to face them and deal with them over and over again. It's easy to dislike them. It's easy to want to run and hide when I see them, or not give them attention, or put effort towards appeasing them. What I've found is that the majority of the time when I talk to them begrudgingly, or meet with them already resentful of the way that I know they're going to speak and act toward me our interaction ends with both of us feeling negative and being unhappy. But when I love them as God does, when I treat them like a beloved child of God, not only do I tend to get better results, I am in the service of the Lord. "By love serve one another" and "love thy neighbor as thyself" (Galatians 5:13-14) and even though they are acting unattractively, and may say hurtful things or chew my ear off with negativity if I show them kindness and have love in my heart, even if our meeting ends without resolution, I am not left in a bad mood the rest of the day, and hopefully they feel...even the tiniest bit...some peace in their heart.
        I'm constantly learning, and I hope growing, too. I feel like I learn a new lesson or skill, and find out something different about myself every day. I still feel like the charge we've been given to serve is a huge one, it's not easy. Some days, I'll probably fail. My Heavenly Father deserves the best. He has asked for all of me, and His grace allows me to give it my best shot. This is just a little of what has been in my heart lately. Thanks for letting me share. Peace and Love, Layne