Thursday, August 9, 2012
Noah's First Birthday Party- sneak peek!
Y'all, I cannot believe my baby girl is about to be a year old! I have planned a spectacular party, which hopefully I can pull-off! Here are some sneak peek shots of what I have in store! I can not wait to share the occasion with you!! Peace and Love, Layne
Tuesday, August 7, 2012
Why Noah will be our only child for a nice, loooong, while...
For those of you that know me, you know that I have decided that I do not want to have any more children. Physically, that is. I do eventually want another child whether it be through surrogacy or adoption, but this mama's body is officially closed for business. I've been through too much physically, emotionally, and psychologically to be pregnant again. Don't get me wrong, Noah was SO worth it. So unbelievably worth it...but she's here now, and I know what me being pregnant entails, and knowing it all up front, well, I just can't do it again. I do truly want a son one day, and I'd love for it to be mine and Chad's biological child if at any point we can afford a surrogate, however I also love the idea of adoption and giving a child a good, loving home that they might not otherwise have. With that being said, I do not want another child for a loooooonnnggg time. Like years from now, and I am SO sure about that. We've been lucky enough to spend some time with my in-laws, nieces and nephews recently (there are 5 children under 5, not including Noah) and I have never been so content with just having Noah in my entire life. I'm also pretty certain at this point that my sisters-in-law are the most patient women I know, and that Chad's oldest sister, Nicole (mother to 3 under 5), is a saint. A saint who hasn't slept, showered, or pooped in peace in 5 years. If I know one thing about myself after being around these amazing kids, and I truly mean that they are amazing, is that I am too selfish, too impatient, and just not cut out for more than one child right now.
After a family dinner and hang out session at Chad's parent's house, I have a border-line migraine and feel like I could sleep for 14 hours. I often sit back and take inventory of the scene in the house during these get-togethers and just shake my head and laugh...the three oldest (the 5 year old, 2 year old, and almost 3 year old) are running around with flash lights, screaming about who pushed who, putting each other in time-out, and then hugging and making up in the most heart-melting of fashions...the oldest of the babies, who is 16 months old, is screaming bloody murder-not out of sadness, anger or frustration, but out of sheer joy at building a block tower and knocking it down herself. Noah is crawling around on all of the furniture on her tip toes trying to reach whatever electronic device we've placed out of her reach and the youngest, a nine month-old, is crawling on the ground as if navigating a war zone fighting to just make it through the den and into the kitchen with his extremities in-tact. Meanwhile, Chad's two sisters are negotiating with the big kids, "Now lets give her back her flashlight, and she'll give you back your truck..." in addition to "Did you push him?" (which, by the way the response to that is the most adorably honest "He pushed me....and I pushed him first!") Chad's brothers-in-law are trying to get by with what little interjection they can, but still having to throw out an occasional "Watch out for the baby," or "don't throw that!" Chad and I are changing dirty diapers, placing phones up on end tables and then removing them and placing them on higher tables....and then pulling Noah away from the electrical cords she's found by crawling under the couch and getting stuck between it and the wall. As well as having everyone's favorite conversation: "What did you give Noah to eat?" "I didn't give her anything..." "Well what's in her mouth?" ---rush over to the baby and pry the <insert random object here> out of her throat. The greatest part is that ALL of this has taken place over just a 5 minute time period....and what's even more unbelievable is that these are good kids. Heaven help the families with problem children, I shudder to think about how I would cope in that situation. I have said time and time and time again, certain kids take certain types of parents, and folks I have recognized my short-comings and recognized my potential, and right now that potential is shouting: being an amazing parent....to ONE child. I am not organized enough, patient enough, clear-headed enough, kind enough, or strong enough to handle anything more than my sweet Noah girl right now. I've got to tell ya, I am certainly humbled by the amazing parenting abilities I witness from Chad's two sisters and their husbands. My nieces and nephews are the smartest and funniest kids I know, and they have the biggest hearts. My nephew pushed me on the porch swing for 5 minutes tonight, and while that might not seem like long, he's only two. My 5-year-old niece told her other Aunt, who hadn't been given an invitation to Noah's birthday party yet, to "just be patient and she was sure that she would get it soon"....and my two-year-old niece sat on the counter eating boiled peanuts with me today and out of the blue looked over and told me "I'm SO excited because my cousins are coming to grandmama's house today, too!" What's great for Chad and I, but especially for Noah is that we don't have to have any other kids for a while because she's the luckiest little girl in the world to have such amazing cousins just a few hours away to play with!
Here are some pics of my little angel from tonight, she's getting so big! We had her one-year-old portraits done yesterday, and I could hardly believe it! What is the family dynamic like in your family? Did I paint an accurate picture of your family get-togethers, or is it totally different? More kids for you, or content with what you've got? For me, it's nice to know where I stand, and I can safely say my hubby agrees with me! We are content with our little family for now! Peace and Love, Layne
After a family dinner and hang out session at Chad's parent's house, I have a border-line migraine and feel like I could sleep for 14 hours. I often sit back and take inventory of the scene in the house during these get-togethers and just shake my head and laugh...the three oldest (the 5 year old, 2 year old, and almost 3 year old) are running around with flash lights, screaming about who pushed who, putting each other in time-out, and then hugging and making up in the most heart-melting of fashions...the oldest of the babies, who is 16 months old, is screaming bloody murder-not out of sadness, anger or frustration, but out of sheer joy at building a block tower and knocking it down herself. Noah is crawling around on all of the furniture on her tip toes trying to reach whatever electronic device we've placed out of her reach and the youngest, a nine month-old, is crawling on the ground as if navigating a war zone fighting to just make it through the den and into the kitchen with his extremities in-tact. Meanwhile, Chad's two sisters are negotiating with the big kids, "Now lets give her back her flashlight, and she'll give you back your truck..." in addition to "Did you push him?" (which, by the way the response to that is the most adorably honest "He pushed me....and I pushed him first!") Chad's brothers-in-law are trying to get by with what little interjection they can, but still having to throw out an occasional "Watch out for the baby," or "don't throw that!" Chad and I are changing dirty diapers, placing phones up on end tables and then removing them and placing them on higher tables....and then pulling Noah away from the electrical cords she's found by crawling under the couch and getting stuck between it and the wall. As well as having everyone's favorite conversation: "What did you give Noah to eat?" "I didn't give her anything..." "Well what's in her mouth?" ---rush over to the baby and pry the <insert random object here> out of her throat. The greatest part is that ALL of this has taken place over just a 5 minute time period....and what's even more unbelievable is that these are good kids. Heaven help the families with problem children, I shudder to think about how I would cope in that situation. I have said time and time and time again, certain kids take certain types of parents, and folks I have recognized my short-comings and recognized my potential, and right now that potential is shouting: being an amazing parent....to ONE child. I am not organized enough, patient enough, clear-headed enough, kind enough, or strong enough to handle anything more than my sweet Noah girl right now. I've got to tell ya, I am certainly humbled by the amazing parenting abilities I witness from Chad's two sisters and their husbands. My nieces and nephews are the smartest and funniest kids I know, and they have the biggest hearts. My nephew pushed me on the porch swing for 5 minutes tonight, and while that might not seem like long, he's only two. My 5-year-old niece told her other Aunt, who hadn't been given an invitation to Noah's birthday party yet, to "just be patient and she was sure that she would get it soon"....and my two-year-old niece sat on the counter eating boiled peanuts with me today and out of the blue looked over and told me "I'm SO excited because my cousins are coming to grandmama's house today, too!" What's great for Chad and I, but especially for Noah is that we don't have to have any other kids for a while because she's the luckiest little girl in the world to have such amazing cousins just a few hours away to play with!
Here are some pics of my little angel from tonight, she's getting so big! We had her one-year-old portraits done yesterday, and I could hardly believe it! What is the family dynamic like in your family? Did I paint an accurate picture of your family get-togethers, or is it totally different? More kids for you, or content with what you've got? For me, it's nice to know where I stand, and I can safely say my hubby agrees with me! We are content with our little family for now! Peace and Love, Layne
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| Noah chillin' on the porch with her Grandaddy. |
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| Grandmama snuggling with Noah and her cousin, both having their nighttime milk. |
Friday, August 3, 2012
For this child I prayed....
....and the Lord hath given me my petition which I asked of Him. 1Samuel 1:27
We're quickly approaching Noah's 1st birthday. A year has FLOWN by. I have had so much fun with this little goober the past few days, and wanted to share some of the adorable pictures I managed to snap!! Peace and Love, Layne
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| picking her up from the babysitter's house... |
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| gave it to her as a drum, and she used it to "cook" |
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| When she sits on her stool she always claps because she feels like a big girl! |
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| Kisses to her favorite guy! |
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| I think she wondered what I was doing to her hair....lol. I love that expression! |
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| baths are faves. |
Thursday, August 2, 2012
Who I used to be...
I know I have written about this before, but I've had a pretty fantastic day, and I really feel like talking about it again. So here goes. I am not the same person I used to be. The Layne from 5 years ago, is not the Layne of today. In fact, the Layne of 1 year ago is not the Layne of today. But, I especially look back to my high school and early college years and think what an amazing change I've made, and how glad I am that I am not that person anymore. The difference has nothing to do with the obvious worldy changes I have made in my life, it has nothing to do with that fact that I don't drink alcohol anymore, or go out and party, it is very much an inner change that happened to me and that I'd like to dwell on that today.
I used to be mean. I was a mean person, especially in high school. I was a bully, and another B-word, too (if ya know what I'm sayin'). I was mean to people for a million different reasons, none of them worthwhile, none of them acceptable, and I have no idea why I acted that way or what I thought gave me that right. I certainly had a fair share of people who picked on me, or talked bad about me, maybe my attitude and actions were a defense mechanism- who knows, not me- I'm not a psychiatrist. I do know that I was always amidst controversy, whether I was involved in it, causing it, or talking about it. My senior superlative was "Most likely to start a Gossip Hotline" it sounds funny, but in reality gossip is salicious and hurtful and causes no positive effects on anyone involved. I realize I'm not painting a very flattering picture of myself- but it is a truthful one. Despite this horrible attribute and disposition I had to injure others, I had some great friends. Some who were mean, too, and some who were amazing, kind, and funny people....all who I loved dearly and loved me despite that fact that I acted like Regina George on crack ( Mean Girl's reference).
I'm not sure when I realized how horrible I'd been, or when I stopped being so horrible, I think the change in actions was a gradual transition, and maybe the realization was something of a giant slap in the face epiphany, but none the less, I stopped. For the most part. I still struggle with that meanness more than I would like to admit and sometimes I let it get the best of me. My husband thinks it's equally hilarious and horrifying. Ok... so maybe he thinks it's just horrifying, but he likes to make fun of me behind closed doors about it. He often refers to it as me "getting ghetto" on someone, or if someone else acts that way he may call it "pulling a Layne". These days, though, if I do slip up and are mean to someone, most of the time it stems from me losing my patience or being frustrated. It's no longer for amusement or malicious and I feel like, while it is still unacceptable, it is much more of a flaw and than a condition. For entertaiment purposes here is an example of me losing it:
When we lived in Florence, SC my old Hyundai would decide not to start a lot of the time. It would be completely random and I would have done nothing wrong and it was so embarrassing because it would be in my office parking lot, or somewhere public and I would eventually have to have it towed to a garage to be looked at. The first time it happened the guys told me it started up for them just fine (of course) and I blushed and sighed and explained that that was really discouraging because I tried everything and did nothing wrong and what on Earth could it be, and they asked did I leave my lights on or the door open and I told them no and took my car and left. Then it did it again and I had to have it towed....again, and the shop guys got it to start first try....again! They smiled, sort of chuckled leaned over the counter and very condescendingly said "Sweetheart, are you suuurre you aren't maybe leaving the lights on or door not closed all the way and just running your battery down?" *SNAP*CRACKLE*POP* That sent my lid flying.. Yes I am sure I have not let the battery die, I was sure the first time you suggested it. Do I look stupid, DO. I. LOOK. STUPID. Do you think as an intellegent adult I might have tried to jump my car before bringing it here? That maybe I noticed and pointed out to you that the AC, and radio work and it is just the ignition that doesn't that might clue you in on the fact that I have not let the battery die. Maybe you just thought that I like coming to see you, right? That I paid $70 TWICE to have my car towed but didn't think to check the battery first, silly me for bringing my car here to your place of business that is supposed to be able to help me and tell me what it wrong with my car rather than talk to me like a child and not thoroughly do your job, I assure I wont come back and that someone else will be receiving my money to fix my car-YOU. IDIOT.
<sigh> I'm only human.
But each night when I pray I ask God for forgiveness for anyone I might have caused to be unhappy, anyone I might have injured with my words or an unfriendly look, and anyone I might have said something unkind about. Each day I wake up with one goal, and that is to try and be more like my Savior. He was kind to and loved everyone, even his persecutors, even strangers, even people who believed different things than him, who tested his patience, who were different than he was. I think about how I feel when someone is kind to me, when their tone of voice says that they are glad to be talking to me and I'm not wasting their time, and when a stranger passes and just smiles and waves. It feels great, it can make a bad day an ok day. So, I try to be that person and treat people that way. Today I was nice. I was pleasant and perky and friendly to everyone I came in contact with and it felt great. I feel happier when I make an effort to be good to others, it's infectious and it makes me want to do it all of the time. It makes my heart happy, and I hope that the people I interact with are uplifted by it, too. So just know that when you roll your eyes, or stick up your nose in judgement....that when you feel like you are just too dang busy to deal with someone else, or give anyone your attention, or when someone is wearing thin on your patience, and maybe even when someone is making you bonkers in another car driving next to you on the road....a smile can melt the tension, a nice word can make someone's day, and treating others with respect and love will ALWAYS lead to a better outcome than being mean. Peace and Love, Layne
I used to be mean. I was a mean person, especially in high school. I was a bully, and another B-word, too (if ya know what I'm sayin'). I was mean to people for a million different reasons, none of them worthwhile, none of them acceptable, and I have no idea why I acted that way or what I thought gave me that right. I certainly had a fair share of people who picked on me, or talked bad about me, maybe my attitude and actions were a defense mechanism- who knows, not me- I'm not a psychiatrist. I do know that I was always amidst controversy, whether I was involved in it, causing it, or talking about it. My senior superlative was "Most likely to start a Gossip Hotline" it sounds funny, but in reality gossip is salicious and hurtful and causes no positive effects on anyone involved. I realize I'm not painting a very flattering picture of myself- but it is a truthful one. Despite this horrible attribute and disposition I had to injure others, I had some great friends. Some who were mean, too, and some who were amazing, kind, and funny people....all who I loved dearly and loved me despite that fact that I acted like Regina George on crack ( Mean Girl's reference).
I'm not sure when I realized how horrible I'd been, or when I stopped being so horrible, I think the change in actions was a gradual transition, and maybe the realization was something of a giant slap in the face epiphany, but none the less, I stopped. For the most part. I still struggle with that meanness more than I would like to admit and sometimes I let it get the best of me. My husband thinks it's equally hilarious and horrifying. Ok... so maybe he thinks it's just horrifying, but he likes to make fun of me behind closed doors about it. He often refers to it as me "getting ghetto" on someone, or if someone else acts that way he may call it "pulling a Layne". These days, though, if I do slip up and are mean to someone, most of the time it stems from me losing my patience or being frustrated. It's no longer for amusement or malicious and I feel like, while it is still unacceptable, it is much more of a flaw and than a condition. For entertaiment purposes here is an example of me losing it:
When we lived in Florence, SC my old Hyundai would decide not to start a lot of the time. It would be completely random and I would have done nothing wrong and it was so embarrassing because it would be in my office parking lot, or somewhere public and I would eventually have to have it towed to a garage to be looked at. The first time it happened the guys told me it started up for them just fine (of course) and I blushed and sighed and explained that that was really discouraging because I tried everything and did nothing wrong and what on Earth could it be, and they asked did I leave my lights on or the door open and I told them no and took my car and left. Then it did it again and I had to have it towed....again, and the shop guys got it to start first try....again! They smiled, sort of chuckled leaned over the counter and very condescendingly said "Sweetheart, are you suuurre you aren't maybe leaving the lights on or door not closed all the way and just running your battery down?" *SNAP*CRACKLE*POP* That sent my lid flying.. Yes I am sure I have not let the battery die, I was sure the first time you suggested it. Do I look stupid, DO. I. LOOK. STUPID. Do you think as an intellegent adult I might have tried to jump my car before bringing it here? That maybe I noticed and pointed out to you that the AC, and radio work and it is just the ignition that doesn't that might clue you in on the fact that I have not let the battery die. Maybe you just thought that I like coming to see you, right? That I paid $70 TWICE to have my car towed but didn't think to check the battery first, silly me for bringing my car here to your place of business that is supposed to be able to help me and tell me what it wrong with my car rather than talk to me like a child and not thoroughly do your job, I assure I wont come back and that someone else will be receiving my money to fix my car-YOU. IDIOT.
<sigh> I'm only human.
But each night when I pray I ask God for forgiveness for anyone I might have caused to be unhappy, anyone I might have injured with my words or an unfriendly look, and anyone I might have said something unkind about. Each day I wake up with one goal, and that is to try and be more like my Savior. He was kind to and loved everyone, even his persecutors, even strangers, even people who believed different things than him, who tested his patience, who were different than he was. I think about how I feel when someone is kind to me, when their tone of voice says that they are glad to be talking to me and I'm not wasting their time, and when a stranger passes and just smiles and waves. It feels great, it can make a bad day an ok day. So, I try to be that person and treat people that way. Today I was nice. I was pleasant and perky and friendly to everyone I came in contact with and it felt great. I feel happier when I make an effort to be good to others, it's infectious and it makes me want to do it all of the time. It makes my heart happy, and I hope that the people I interact with are uplifted by it, too. So just know that when you roll your eyes, or stick up your nose in judgement....that when you feel like you are just too dang busy to deal with someone else, or give anyone your attention, or when someone is wearing thin on your patience, and maybe even when someone is making you bonkers in another car driving next to you on the road....a smile can melt the tension, a nice word can make someone's day, and treating others with respect and love will ALWAYS lead to a better outcome than being mean. Peace and Love, Layne
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